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What's Left of Us, by Richard Farrell
PDF Ebook What's Left of Us, by Richard Farrell
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"Blunt and honest...A stunning piece of work." T.J. English
"Deeply moving. . .What s Left of Us is a rush of blood to the head and heart, the kind only true art can deliver." --Andre Dubus
"An amazing story not just of survival, but redemption." Mary McGarry Morris
Richie Farrell grew up in a working-class Irish neighborhood in Massachusetts. To overcome a birth defect, his father pushed him to become a star athlete, grooming him for Notre Dame. Sometimes, he would use a belt as a learning tool. Once, he used an electric carving knife...
The headline read Crippled at Birth: Farrell Now Grid Star. A month later, I tore up my knee and fell in love with pain medication.
By time he was thirty, Richie was a heroin addict, stealing from friends, shooting up during visits to his children, living in abandoned mill buildings, running from the shameful secrets of his family. Hopeless and in pain, he attempted suicide. When that failed, he was ordered to detox.
He looked at me. Be honest, he said, or you'll be on the street in 15 minutes. Jail, death, or honesty. You choose."
In this harrowing, astounding memoir, Richard Farrell chronicles a life of desperation, violence, lies and the pure oblivion of heroin. A gritty, hauntingly written tale of a descent into hell and a slow, uncertain climb out of it, What's Left Of Us is a true story of redemption: of how low a man can get, and how hard he must fight to escape a shattered life...
"[Farrell] carries you on this rollercoaster ride of ugliness and beauty. Don't miss it. Phyllis Karas
Richard Farrell is an author, filmmaker, teacher, journalist, and adjunct professor of English at the University of Massachusetts in Lowell. His documentary, High on Crack Street, was aired on HBO and received Columbia University's duPont Award. The Fighter, a feature film based on High on Crack Street, will be released in 2011 staring Mark Whalberg, Christian Bale, and Farrell playing himself. He is the co-author of A Criminal and an Irishman: The Inside Story of the Mob-IRA Connection. He makes his home in Milford, New Hampshire.
- Sales Rank: #1052321 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Citadel Press
- Published on: 2009-07-01
- Released on: 2009-06-30
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.30" h x .81" w x 5.60" l, .55 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 288 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Most helpful customer reviews
19 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
Everybody has a war story ... this is the story of one man's descent into a world from which few return unscathed
By Deb
Richie was getting very good at copping a fix now, but if he didn't his body would kick back. His stomach would churn and the diarrhea would shoot out of him like the magma spewing out from a volcano. If he got a "hot shot" it wouldn't really matter because he'd be deader than Kelsey's nuts, but when you're dead you really don't care. What he did worry about was getting "cotton shot rush." If a minuscule piece of bacteria laden cotton fiber he used to filter impurities out of his heroin got loose and entered his bloodstream . . . well, let's just say the pain and agony were indescribable. He still would "roll the dice about a dozen times a day." Richard Farrell was beyond caring.
Once upon a time Richie was just a normal kid from "The Acre" in Lowell, Massachusetts. He, his brother and parents lived this fairy tale existence in a nice house they eventually moved to. They were on the right side of the tracks, but that was all a façade. He'd been born a "cripple" and his father would push him mercilessly. He was going to be a football star and play for Notre Dame. His recurrent memories of abuse haunted him later in life. "Zebra stripes" didn't show and no one would ever know about the time his father lashed him to the chair with duct tape. He struggled to breathe as the tape went over his nose and mouth. The sound of his mother's "new, double-blade, electric carving knife" began to buzz and urine began to trickle down his leg. What goes on in this house, stays in this house. It was all part of growing up, or was it?
The knee was shattered in a game and drug addiction soon followed. A little taste of Dr. Feelgood later caused him to wonder how he could even "survive one minute on the streets without heroin leading [him]." Once living on the streets, he continued to garner a small amount of respect by spinning his lie about playing for Notre Dame. Over and over his memories haunted him. "I could have saved my father's life that night on the kitchen floor. But instead I watched him die." He had to get a fix within ten minutes of rising. Enough was enough. He'd been to Lowell Detox so many times. It was time to get a hot shot with Nick and Joey. He inserted the needle and squeezed the plunger. "Shake down the thunder from the sky . . . "
I hit a point in this book that disgusted me so badly I had to shut it. The disgust was not directed at Richie, but rather the attitude of those around him. Perhaps it was my own blasé attitude and inability to understand the problems people have working with those who are coping with extreme drug abuse. I kept on reading and like Joni Mitchell, "I've looked at clouds from both sides now." This is the best book I've read in some time and now, dear Richard, I'm waiting for a sequel. Thank you for helping us understand that "everybody has a war story."
9 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
Rich Farrell's Crowning Accomplishment
By David P. Dionne
"What's Left of Us" is a crowning achievement; a stunning revelation of a brilliant life almost permanently interrupted. This is a crowning accomplishment by one of the best author/journalists in America today. This is a fulfillment of themes Rich Farrell has previously explored in his award-winning HBO documentary. This story, however, is a first-person account of extreme heroin addiction, culminating in an inches-to-death experience and the road to redemption. It's a stunning narrative, and a mesmerizing read. Readers beware, however; renowned crime historian T. J. English's assertion that this book is "blunt and honest..." is an enormous understatement. This book is brutally blunt and honest. Rich Farrell's story couldn't be told as effectively any other way.
This is not a darkly funny memoir in the Augesten Burroughs vein. It's unconditionally serious. Its details are often very graphic, and potentially disturbing to anyone who has led a relatively normal and stable life. Farrell as his own central character seeks to be neither likable nor admirable, but merely understood.
This is a brilliant chronicle of events that occurred in Lowell, MA, during the month of March 1987, including an exhaustive description of seven days constituting Farrell's fifth and final stay at Lowell Detox center. Unlike the first four, the last one was not voluntary. Similar to Farrell's "A Criminal and an Irishman," "What's Left of Us" is remarkable for the way it presents non-Lowell residents with an accessible portrait in words of what areas as diverse as the Acre and Belvidere were like to live in during the period addressed in the book, and brings it home to the reader in a way that makes the nature of their landscape and culture fully graspable. You feel as if you are there in Lowell, MA, during these years.
Rich Farrell's astonishing wordsmith capacity is demonstrated in the descriptive narrative recounting his day-to-day final experience at Lowell Detox. Few readers will find anything glamorous about it or most of the people chronicled within. No one would be likely to want to share the same experience. Yet his interaction with both the menial and professional staff there--and in particular that with the center's psychiatrist--are crucial to understanding how Farrell eventually dealt with his past inner demons, and how he's managed to stay straight now for over two decades. It makes this book, in my estimation, required reading for anyone contemplating a career in any aspect of the mental health or human services professions.
By way of full discourse, I know and greatly admire both Rich Farrell and his wonderful mom, Margaret. I've worked with both of them. I've often referred to Rich as Brother Farrell, or, alternatively, Brother Fearghal. It all comes to his Gaelic gift of prose and storytelling, whether whimsical or, in the case of "What's Left of Us," tragic. His talent is innate and immense. Rich refers to himself as being a "cripple" in this book, and I can assert that he does indeed walk with a pronounced limp, but in a way that is forward and confident in manner. I'd be willing to sacrifice an arm for even a tenth of Rich's talent and charisma. Oh, and is he charismatic. Very charismatic! This undeniable factor about Rich's identity comes through in this book, even when he is at the lowest ebb in his life. Attain this book and read the most extraordinary truthful account of a life that's ever been published. I've never been prouder of someone I know, and never more confident, to a metaphysical and moral certitude, of an endorsement for a written work as I am this one.
6 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Honest
By Melissa Howard
This book is an honest look into one mans life. There are no candy coated stories, just the brutal truth.
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