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The key to understanding how your manager calculates your real value—and how to boost it
More than anything else, you need to understand exactly how your employer evaluates you, and your annual performance review doesn't tell the whole story. In The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace, Cy Wakeman shows how to calculate how your true value to your organization by understanding your current and future potential against your "emotional expense"—the toll your actions and attitudes take on the people around you. With Cy's clear, straight-to-the-point advice, you can confront and reduce your emotional costliness, become an invaluable member of your team, and even learn to love your job again.
- Reveals a formula for measuring your current performance, future potential, and the biggest detractor, your emotional expense
- Shares real-world advice for quickly boosting your value and becoming a highly-valued, sought after employee and teammate
- Builds on the lessons in Reality-Based Leadership, Cy Wakeman's first book for leaders and managers
The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace is the essential guide for boosting your value, owning your career, and becoming the kind of employee no organization can afford to lose.
- Sales Rank: #265826 in Books
- Published on: 2013-04-30
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.30" h x .78" w x 6.40" l, .80 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 208 pages
Amazon.com Review
Q & A with Cy Wakeman, author of The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace Cy Wakeman What is the reality-based revolution?
You can have peace, sanity, and happiness at work, and still achieve amazing results that don't have to come at the expense of your personal well-being. It's a concept that is taking over the world.
Why is it each of our own responsibility-not our manager's-to calculate our precise value to our employer?
Most managers lie-not because they are bad people, but because they believe their employees can't handle true, honest feedback. For this reason, you can't expect accurate assessments from your manager. You can (and should) use your manager as a source of input as you evaluate your own value.
When you take responsibility for calculating your own value regularly, it becomes highly unlikely that you will get surprise negative feedback during your annual review. Taking personal responsibility for your value returns the ownership to you. I have found that this is the key to personal happiness. It helps you know what levers to pull to see the change you want in your life, without relying on others.
What is emotional expensiveness, and why does it carry more weight than any other factor in the new value equation?
Emotional expensiveness has a multiplier effect. One person's emotional expensiveness creates drama that affects everyone, making it a greater liability. When you think about the people that exhaust you, does it really matter how good they are at their jobs? Not typically. We would rather work with someone who is easy to work with and doesn't drain us emotionally. Organizations are no different.
How can boosting your value make you more successful and more fulfilled in your career?
Once you know how leaders in organizations actually determine your value, you can take steps to improve that value. Rock star performers who constantly hone their skills and stay drama-free get noticed very quickly. If that doesn't happen, they are incredibly marketable. Really good people who have options are bound to be happier than less-than-stellar employees who allow their skills to fizzle out and become engrossed in stress and drama.
What can fans of your first book expect from The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace?
Fans of Reality-Based Leadership will see that I've provided a road map for everyone on how to be one of the favorites. The rules of the game have changed, and I've helped to demystify those changes as they relate to being a valuable member of any organization. In The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace, I help readers understand that I am on their side. I want the world to be a happier place, and it starts with taking personal accountability.
From Booklist
Who among us doesn’t enjoy gossip at the proverbial (sometimes, actual) water cooler? Or pointing fingers at love-to-hate-’em jerks? Or whining and moaning about all the changes in the office? Two words of advice come from speaker-consultant Wakeman (Reality-Based Leadership, 2010)—stop it! Her code of office conduct demands that all drama be checked at the door and that, instead, all employees realize five ideas: one’s level of accountability determines one’s level of happiness; suffering is optional, so let go of creating drama; one’s actions add value to one’s performance, not offering opinions; say “yes” to what’s next; and there will always be extenuating circumstances to any situation. When we don’t add value beyond our job-responsibility templates, when we’re content not to reach out and help others, when we don’t share what we know, then the time is ripe for job dissatisfaction and, perhaps, a layoff or a firing. In the end, Wakeman gives us the gift of self-awareness by forcing us to think and compare our productive results through quizzes and some eye-opening anecdotes. --Barbara Jacobs
Review
#7 New York Times Best Seller (Hardcover Advice, How-To, and Miscellaneous)
#5 New York Times Best Seller (Hardcover Business)
#2 Wall Street Journal Best Seller (Hardcover Business)
#10 Publishers Weekly Best Seller (Hardcover Nonfiction)
#7 USA Today Best Seller (Money)
#10 Chicago Sun-Times Best Seller (Nonfiction)
"The best way to be valued at work is to add a ton of value, and Cy Wakeman shows you exactly how to do it in today's fast-moving, technology-fueled workplace. She'll also guide you to getting your MOJO back as an employee. An invaluable tool for those who want success at work and at home."
—Marshall Goldsmith, New York Times bestselling author, MOJO and What Got You Here Won't Get You There
"I don't know how she topped Reality-Based Leadership, but she did. This is, simply put, a GREAT book! Every business needs to buy every employee a copy of it."
—Larry Winget, New York Times bestselling author, Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get A Life and It's Called Work for a Reason!
"Cy Wakeman's approach and methodology have made a profound difference with myself and my team. If you are interested in taking back control of your personal business success, read The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace. Every person within an organization can reclaim his or her ability to add significant value, and she will show you how."
—John McVeigh, president, O.C. Tanner Recognition Company Limited
"This book is a must-read for anyone who has ever felt dissatisfied, unappreciated, or fed up with his or her job. In The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace, Cy Wakeman delivers (with tough love and humor) an incredibly liberating reality check: you are the cause of your own suffering, and only you have the power to end it. Wakeman compels readers to ditch the excuses, take back control of their happiness at work, and discover that the jobs they've always wanted were there all along."
—Chris Powell, executive vice president, human resources, Scripps Networks Interactive
"It gets more challenging every year to ensure employees are highly engaged, and it's a critical concern for leaders in nearly every organization today. The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace reveals what's been missing from well-intentioned, yet often ineffective, engagement programs: an expectation that employees have significant responsibility for their happiness at work. Once we embrace the reality that engagement is tied to personal accountability, organizations will have a happier, more engaged workforce, and healthier bottom lines."
—Caroline Stockdale, senior vice president, human resources, Medtronic
"In The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace, Cy Wakeman challenges us to take a look in the mirror, give up our self-defeating stories, and accept responsibility for our own success. With her quick wit and compelling stories, Wakeman turns doubters into believers who demonstrate their value and find happiness at work. She's the straight-shooting yet empowering mentor you wish you had."
—Philip Wilner, vice president and medical director, behavioral health, New York–Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Center
"Cy Wakeman's new book is for every member of the workforce who wants to elevate his or her performance to a higher level. The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace provides invaluable tools for converting the energy spent on feelings of frustration, complacency, and hopelessness into fuel for finding happiness and achieving your fullest potential. Cy’s philosophy and tools have been invaluable in helping our leaders learn to embrace accountability, and the positive response from employees has been overwhelming."
—Alyson Guthrie, chief human resources officer, Crowell & Moring
"One of my biggest disappointments as a CEO is the significant number of good employees we have lost because some incident changed their attitude almost overnight. It is great to finally have a book that helps employees understand how management views them and that they can totally control that perception. The greatest benefit to The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace is that it teaches us all how to be more accountable in our own careers. Every college student should read this to prepare them for the real world and how to thrive in it."
—Mike Rydin, president and CEO, HCSS
"In The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace, Cy Wakeman reveals that the key ingredient to both high performance and happiness is simple: personal accountability. With a no-holds-barred approach and practical tools, Wakeman helps employees discover a newfound sense of happiness and control in their work."
—Kim Ferrarie, senior vice president, human resources, Air Liquide
"Cy Wakeman's newest book is for every member of the workforce who wants to elevate his or her performance to a higher level of greatness. The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace provides tools for converting any disengagement you are feeling toward your current company into powerful action to re-engage and achieve your fullest potential. We are using Cy’s philosophy and tools in our leadership development programs, and the response has been overwhelming! I highly recommend this book if you are ready to challenge yourself to let go of any blockers that are preventing you from being your best."
—Ken Myers, senior vice president and chief human resources officer, Hospira, Inc.
"The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace is an essential guide to facing the real challenges you deal with every day and seizing the opportunities they represent, instead of feeling victimized. Cy Wakeman shows how you can adopt a no-nonsense approach to owning your career and becoming the kind of employee no organization would want to lose."
—Ed Bjurstrom, general manager, Gilead Sciences
"The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace is spot on! It provides a suite of tangible tools that empower employees to take control of their work life. We all want to determine our own destiny, how we contribute at work, and how we feel about it. This book is key to moving forward! The messages Cy provides are easy to understand and apply across environments."
—Shannon Bell, executive coach and organizational development consultant
"If you are an employee or you have employees, The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace is a must-read for thriving in today’s marketplace. Cy provides simple steps to developing a culture where employees are contributors and drivers of your basic operating principles, and she provides tips on how to enhance business results by creating relationships that are meaningful and success-filled for employees, coworkers, and your business."
—Cindy Williams, organizational development specialist, Bayer CropScience
"The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace is a gem for anyone holding a job, and for those who evaluate the work of other people. Totally engaging, funny at times, and an easy read. This book is packed with questions to ask yourself and guidance toward the best, most productive answers to drive success for yourself, your coworkers, and your business. Cy has hit this one out of the park!"
—Gordon Whitten, serial entrepreneur and innovation expert
Most helpful customer reviews
55 of 65 people found the following review helpful.
A one-sided view of employment
By Brian West
I rarely review books that I purchase and read, but this one I felt deserved a review. Fact: the employer-employee dynamic is an agreement. You, the employee, provide time, energy, and expertise to an employer, and the employer compensates you for those commodities with wages, benefits, and hopefully career development (this last one admittedly is a bonus). So what happens when the employer fails to live up to their side of the bargain or more blatantly just performs a bait and switch? According to the author you sublimate your feelings and self-respect and give the employer whatever they ask for and more. Clear poor performance of management? That's your problem. Lack of accountability from management? Also your problem. Management is absolved of all responsibility and accountability ... until of course you're 80% of the way through the book and then, she tells you this nugget, "High value players know when to walk away." This assertion only merits a minimal few pages of commentary. Wait ... what?
In summary: Give, adjust your attitude, change your beliefs, say yes, etc. and then if it doesn't work out after giving your precious time, energy, dedication, loyalty, and, dare I say it, self-respect in service to your employer, leave.
Try this instead. First, DON'T expect anything in this environment except for what is specifically spelled out in your agreement. Second, discover where the water's edge is in terms of your own control, experience, and competence. Third, do the best that you can do within that area and try to expand it. Fourth, be respectful and courteous to your coworkers and management. Last, if the investment in your employer doesn't look like it'll pay off, do what traders do and cut your losses. Hard won confidence, experience, and sense of self should never be offered up to anyone, especially people or an organization that doesn't respect what you're providing them.
For those who've read this far, I highly recommend "So Good They Can't Ignore You." I thought it has a better perspective on being accountable for your own career advancement.
14 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
How to increase one's value as well as eliminate whatever can diminish it and, meanwhile, help others to do so, also
By Robert Morris
In the Introduction, Cy Wakeman establishes a direct and personal rapport with her readers that she sustains throughout her lively and eloquent narrative: "I am here to tell you: You are not a cog in a machine -- far from it. You have more control than you think. That's the good news. The bad news is, you and you alone are causing your own suffering. What most of your have lost touch with is that it isn't your reality that is causing your pain and frustration. It's the worn-out methods, techniques, and mind-sets with which you are approaching your reality. I'm here to tell you that your suffering is optional. I can help you get back on track so you can find bliss in your work again, while becoming more valuable to your organization than ever before." Yes, the information, insights, and counsel that Wakeman provides in this book can help a reader to achieve that worthy objective. However, ultimately and (yes) obviously, the reader must be actively involved and fully committed.
There have probably been "reality-based rules" since several cavemen decided to form a tribe. Since then, the rules have changed because the prevailing realities have changed. Wakeman asserts (and I agree) that in today's workplace, the "rules of the game" have changed and she focuses on five that are reality-based:
1. Your level of accountability determines your level of happiness.
2. Suffering is optional.
3. Buy-in is not optional.
4. Say "yes" to what's next.
5. You will always have extenuating circumstances.
Wakeman suggests an appropriate attitude for each of these five (Re #5, "SUCCEED ANYWAY") and has written a book in which she shares everything she has learned (thus far) about how to take full advantage of the opportunities that each realty-based rule has created. As I worked my way through the book, I was again reminded of an observation by Charles Darwin: "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change." In her previously published book, Reality-Based Leadership: Ditch the Drama, Restore Sanity to the Workplace, and Turn Excuses into Results, Wakeman explains how and why leaders, especially, must be resilient when adapting to new realities. In this volume, she re-emphasizes that while suggesting that "leadership" is by no means limited to residents of the C-Suite. Indeed, adaptive leadership must be developed at all levels and in all areas of the given enterprise.
These are among the dozens of passages that caught my eye, also listed to suggest the scope of Wakeman's coverage:
o Performance Reviews in Theory, Performance Reviews in Reality, and How They Can Go Wrong (Pages 18-25)
o From Pain to Vision, and, How to Rate Your Future Potential (40-48)
o Five Tactics for Maximizing Your Future Potential (49-60)
o Rating Emotional Expensiveness (65-67)
o Rate Your Emotional Expensiveness (70-74)
o Four Factors of Personal Accountability (84-96)
o The Monster Under the Bed Is in Your Head (103-106)
o Stay in Your Lane (112-114)
o Five New Realities You Can't Afford to Ignore (125-134)
o The Three Stages of Change (138-147)
o Four Self-Serving but Lame Excuses (150-163)
I wish I had a dollar (or even a dime) for every time I have heard someone say, in effect, "The dog ate my career." I call these people "crutch collectors" who never take ownership of the consequences of their decisions. They are always victims during tough times but wholly responsible for whatever good happens to them. I agree with Wakeman: "The root cause of everyone's dissatisfaction is lack of Personal Accountability and lack of understanding of accountability's true connection to both results and happiness.
"Personal responsibility is the belief that you are fully responsible for your own actions and their consequences. It is a choice, a mind-set, an expression of integrity. While some individuals possess a higher natural inclination toward Personal Accountability, it can most definitely be learned, and it is not only the foundation for all success in work and in life but also a prerequisite for happiness."
I realize that no brief commentary such as mine can possibly do full justice to the quality and value of the material that Cy Wakeman provides. However, I hope that I have at least suggested why I think so highly of her book. Also, I hope that those who read my commentary will be better prepared to determine whether or not to obtain and read the book. In that event, I hope what it offers will guide them a better understanding of how to increase their value, eliminate whatever threatens to diminish it, and meanwhile help them to help countless others to develop that understanding, also.
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
how to be the most effective rat in the maze!
By D. Gottwald
first off, when the title calls out "the workplace," know that the author is talking about a very specific type of workplace—a rigidly dogmatic, corporate cube farm. those who are self-employed, in the creative or entertainment fields, in the non-profit or public sector, or work in an office with less than 15 people will find very little of value here.
most office jobs are awful—i get it, and i'm sympathetic—and the author does a decent job of helping the folks who work these jobs survive next round of layoffs at global omnicorp. but the overall tone of the work is disturbing. it's as if the masters of the universe asked the author, "we need a handbook to prevent the next robotic slave uprising." in other words, much of the text is about being a happier, more productive, more compliant, slave.
in the introduction, she talks about how "economic times are tough" and they're just going to get tougher. that working hours will continue to get longer, employers will continue to ask more of you, etc etc. there's no discussion of WHY this is the case. that's what is meant by "reality-based." the "reality" is that the owners of society are going to keep crushing you. so how can you be the most effective rat in the maze?
i'm not going to suggest that this book is completely without merit. the sections that deal with "emotional expensiveness" were useful in that they can be applied to all sorts of human relationships. so that earns a star.
if you're looking to "move up" and get thrown a few more table scraps from the king, then by all means read this book.
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